Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
