Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
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