I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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