Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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