The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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