ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
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