when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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