I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
