just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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