Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
