yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
why is half of my head shaved?
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
