Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
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