Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
