Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
