I cannot find my penis.
where am i from again
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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