All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
