if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
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