brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
two words: eviction party
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
