the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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