You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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