Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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