Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
