I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize