He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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