A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Can I color on your dick again?
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
