when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Randomize
