omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
false alarm. still invincible.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
