you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
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