Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
