Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
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why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
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I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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