I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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