Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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