So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize