i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
did i just pee glitter
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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