fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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