she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
