I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
