well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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