I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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