I can tuck mytits in my pants
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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