So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Found the puke drawer
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
