I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
