She is in my trunk
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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