HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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