I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
We need a shit load of segways right now
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
