his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
