I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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