wanna go halves on a baby?
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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