Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
