yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
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