Is it normal to miss your booty call?
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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