She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
