I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Randomize
