whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
