sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
My room smells like vodka and shame
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
