that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
