She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
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