Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
