the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
