i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
