Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
