We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
