I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
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